Geek Statement #34
If you were to ask me Kerouac or Kirby (both Jack by the way) I would prefer Kirby.
If you don’t know either - go find out.
We are all.
Strength is within me the same as it is in us all.
Hope is nothing if I alone have it.
Power is not something we hold, but rather we share.
Love is a question of care rather than evidence of ones worth.
The last time she screamed like that was out of sheer terror. Last night was not terror but ecstasy. She laughs to herself, it was almost the same amount of release for both occasions. The problem this time though is she started the evening in pure pleasure, she ended it in sheer terror. An orgasm is only worthwhile, if you do not fear the consequences afterward. She knows that her church feels last night was a sin, and what she is about to do is a bigger sin, and her friends all think it is “normal” everyday. But she is not sure. Most of the time people give her opinions to believe - and that is how she came to this clinic.
She scratches down the basic paperwork and returns it to the receptionist. She is not sure what if anything she can say to relieve the discomfort. So, she sits down quietly. “Amanda, Amanda Jones, to the front desk please.” She hears over the loudspeaker.
“Well, so much for confidentiality.” She thinks to herself. She chuckles with mild amusement and subtle annoyance as she realizes that she was only four chairs away from the clinic front desk that bares a wall of glass that is four inches thick.
:She looks at the window and thinks, “What do they fucking need four inch glass for the receptionist for, are people going to come back and request a reversal.”
She approaches the glass and the woman presses the speaker “What do you need today?”
She whispers “Um, morning after or something.”
The woman again louder, “What are you here for today, and speak up, they don’t give us working speakers.”
She clears her throat and speaks a little louder than before, “The morning after thing.”
The woman, clearly agitated presses the button. Her voice echoes through the waiting room and says “I AM SURE YOU ARE EMBARRASSED ABOUT WHATEVER DEED YOU HAVE DONE, BUT WHY ARE YOU HERE!?!”
Everyone in the waiting room looks away from the scene that appears to be happening. Each and everyone of them has been humiliated by the receptionist who takes the power of three inch thick glass, and righteous indignation with her approach to the poor patrons. The receptionist knows girls like this will cave, she admires herself for bringing them to quiet shame filled sobs. She is actually sitting there waiting for the quiet turn around. “There it is.” She thinks, and usually what follows is a soft sit in the chair, and a face filling the hands with shame. She tells herself that this humiliation will “give the girl character”, and she is “saving her from herself.”
So the girl does turn to sit down, and everyone in the waiting room is dead silent. She prepares to sit, as something compels her to return. The receptionist lets out another smirk, and prepares for humuliation, round 2.
She approaches the desk and looks meek until the receptionist asks “What do you need now?”
The girl then smiles with a very polite smile and says “Look, I did a whorish thing last night, I slept with a man out of wed lock. I am worried that I might be pregnant. Fortunately, I came to a clinic to get some help, just to ensure that I am not putting a child in this world that I am not ready for. I also am fortunate to have a caring and compassionate woman such as yourself to scold me, embarrass me, and be little me to make yourself feel better. You claim to your friends and family that you care, I am sure, but what I see is a cold callous bitch, who does not want to deal with her own insignificance. I did make a mistake last night, and either way, I am going to pay for it. But as far as I can tell, you make a mistake every time you open that fucking trap of yours. Round two, is my victory, bitch.”
She turns to sit down and notices everyone in the waiting room is staring at her, including the nurse at the door. She turns red from embarrassment, and sits in her chair quietly, as the room that once echoed of a woman over a speaker is now silent, dead silent. She puts her hand over her face and prepares to be escorted out. Instead she hears what is the beginning of applause. She peaks up through her fingers and sees a still stunned receptionist. The rest of the room is applauding her reply, including the nurse in the doorway. It is in that moment she realizes, everything is going to be okay.
(Cynical observation) - Funny thing about this site, I lose more followers when I am on here than when I disappear for several weeks.
In other words, thanks for being patient as I attempted to suture up the other areas in my life that suffered a fatal collapse.
We are born into arrogance and wish to die by it’s very self serving nature.
We scribe needless words to sooth others, and to feed our own internal beasts.
We wish to become the creations we concoct in our own heads, as our very bodies are our own limitations.
We desire to be connected and unique at the same time, without compromise or invasion,
We breath life into language for it is an essence of being human, but we deem those unworthy who know not it’s value.
We wish for nothing more but to be seen, heard, occasionally adored,
cherished and loved.
Yet, in the midst of righteous indignation, we compromise our vision - we settle for you instead.
The edge
Wandering back from the edge of forever,
and carefully tracing my steps,
I realize my desire is still the same,
I want to float in and out of atmospheres,
as the metallic flakes of dust brush across both our cheeks,
I long for the fabulous disaster that is known as solar penetration
and at the end of the Milena I would rather go supernova -
than quietly disappear…. but still I fade.
A Conversation Between Me and The Cynic
I have told you as many times as the ocean’s waves crash the shore
I am no longer your slave, I will have moments that remind me of us,
But when I walk away this is the last I will concern myself with you.
I will not give in to your hatred, your loss of humanity, your demoralization.
I am not your pawn, I will not follow your hatred with hatred.
I am yours no more.
Your bone white fingers pointing at me, telling me I do not deserve to hope in better, when the only pain I feel is your tentacles attempting to pull me back in.
I cut loose that which binds me, you cannot set me free - as that is what I have already become.
NNS
We have fallen folly to ourselves,
We have preyed upon the weak, and then would pray upon their bones.
We have begged of nothing new, and become the only victims left.
Our shores only wash up that which has been slaughtered before.
Not even the water cleanses us.
We shall not die, we shall simply change course.
No more sullied masks of bitterness and rage,
No more fear based on genuine change,
No more saviors, unless it means that we save ourselves.
In other news…..
It has recently been reported that Narcissism is being removed from the DSM-V (the book that they tell you how severe your mental health struggles are). Narcissism, the very trait that many of you cannot stand about your friends, it is the friend who has to be and is always right, the most important in the room, always being an insufferable victim of being persecuted for only being worthy. When the head of the committee was asked his opinion about the subsequent removal of narcissism the Doctor simply stated “Since when is it a mental health disorder to be the most amazing person in the room, you are all crazy if you feel it is.” With that statement the rest of the panel agreed, simply to avoid being labeled “crazy”.
What timezone does this apocalypse thing happen? I just want to know so that I can get on to the next end of the world prediction. Is there going to be a clearance sale of all of the apocalypse related items? Can I wear a boyscout type shirt that has badges of all of the end of the world events that I have survived? I would quickly display my Y2K badge, my 666 or 06/06/06 badge of when satan was supposed to take over the world, I would pin a badge of the 2011 Rapture that sadly did not include me (or the guy who thought it up in the first place), and tomorrow I can feel relief when I realize that the apocalypse passes me by.
